R.I.P. Ted Turner<\/a>\u2026 and the Gingerbread Man<\/p>\n Yes, someone made the decision to to have the Gingerbread Man funeral segment tease a couple beats after they paid tribute to a man who changed the television and pro wrestling businesses. It was\u2026 not ideal, and through a certain lens could be seen as a(nother) final shot from the victors of the Monday Night Wars. But given Ted Turner was said to have thought Vince McMahon\u2019s \u201cBillionaire Ted\u201d skits to be funny during the aforementioned Wars, I choose to believe he\u2019d have laughed at this whether it was intentional or not.<\/p>\n Not much of note otherwise to the \u201crun down the line-up as wrestlers you mention arrive at VyStar Veterans Memorial Arena in Jacksonville, Florida for tonight\u2019s SmackDown\u201d open. More on GBM\u2019s funeral later.<\/p>\n After WWE\u2019s usual excellent video package recounting the road to the WWE World Heavyweight title clash at the premium live event tonight (May 9) in Tampa, Florida, the challenger Jacob Fatu makes his way to the ring. He doesn\u2019t get too far into his promo about how their elders in the Samoan Dynasty have always seen his opponent tomorrow, Roman Reigns, as the future, but with him, his whole life, they\u2019ve always expressed doubt.<\/p>\n That was when Jimmy and Jey Uso arrived to warn the Samoan Werewolf about their Tribal Chief.<\/p>\n As you can see there, everybody does a fine job there. It\u2019s a shame the YEETs worked against him. Ask Stone Cold, Uce, that\u2019ll happen with uber-over chants. (I say, it\u2019ll happen. Now stop asking me \u201cwhat?\u201d) The reason it\u2019s a shame is this: if running back The Bloodline is gonna be more than cheap money grab \u2014 which is a lot to ask from TKO WWE, I know \u2014 we need to get back to addressing the fact that as awesome as it is, Roman\u2019s character is an abusive jerk, and that\u2019s hasn\u2019t been dealt with in a meaningful or traditional pro wrestling way when it comes to the cousins he thinks of as brothers.<\/p>\n It still lingers with Jey, at least. The most chilling warning the twins lay on their other cousin is when Jey says the worst thing the OTC will do to Fatu on Saturday night is \u201cbreak him down\u201d. Unfortunately, the \u2018Ville\u2019s unwillingness to stop YEETing kept that from landing like some of Jey\u2019s lines did back when people were calling for Emmys and posting Marty Scorcese memes about The Bloodline a couple years ago.<\/p>\n Fatu\u2019s response was great, especially the delivery of the closing lines before his catchphrases about how if The Usos get involved at Backlash, oh the former U.S. champ swears to God, he will \u201cburn this whole [expletive deleted] family tree down.\u201d<\/p>\n After getting a message from the bedridden Chelsea Green, whose ability to stay on television while hurt is her real super power, Tiffany Stratton successfully defended her Women\u2019s United States championship against Kiana James. But the belt would belong to James if her partner Giulia hadn\u2019t done something so stupid it has to have been intentional to further their split.<\/p>\n This was a solid outing for both women, who seem to have good chemistry. Stratton is getting over impressively as a babyface given her rocky past year, and having her work her way back up the card while focusing on her crowd-pleasing moves was a smart call. James did the WWE Performance Center and her initial trainers (Tyler Breeze and Shawn Spears at Flatbacks, in case players of our daily In-5 Trivia Game<\/a> want to jot that down) proud, continuing to show why WWE brass are said to be high on her.<\/p>\n A split with Giulia could be seen as a bad sign for someone who was seen by many as a slam dunk WWE superstar. I think the former Stardom main eventer should be fine, provided she didn\u2019t sign for too much money and isn\u2019t planning to refuse a pay cut. Some time off television to return for the heel version of what Stratton\u2019s doing now should work to get her back on the superstardom path.<\/p>\n Collecting enemies when you\u2019re supposed to be collecting allies<\/p>\n Guess what? Truth didn\u2019t listen, so we got a babyface version of the same finish we had in the first match of the show. Priest had to save his partner from Tama Tonga and Sikoa when the save he might not have needed went awry, and that allowed Talla to boot him down, throw him back in the ring, and chokeslam him for the upset win.<\/p>\n Nothing wrong with that one, but I already don\u2019t remember it. Business may have picked up afterwards when Keys saved Truth and Priest from the MFT trio afterwards. Royce seems to have had enough of Solo\u2019s crap, so it looks like he\u2019s joining a Samoan story with the champs.<\/p>\n That led to another backstage scene, which led to a match, and since they\u2019re all part of the same angle (at least for one night). So we\u2019re gonna cover them together here, my most egregious departure from the whole chronological order thing I wrote at the top. But I did say \u201cfor the most part\u201d. Anyway\u2026 when we catch up with Solo and the Tongas later, Tama says Keys is a problem, and doesn\u2019t buy Sikoa\u2019s pitch to continue trying to recruit this year\u2019s Andre the Giant Battle Royal winner. A bit after that, Royce pinned Tama after a good-looking spinning spinebuster in their match. Talla wanted to help out his only other fellow MFT, but Solo told him to let Tama finish what he started alone.<\/p>\n Still find it pretty impossible to buy the MFTs as a serious threat to anyone, but maybe others do? Another case where this program makes sense for a recently-debuted talent on paper, but I don\u2019t think it\u2019s going to do much for anyone in the long run. Breaking up is probably what\u2019s next for Sikoa and his last two guys, unless this is a break-up fake out so they can debut a new member at some point and pull an upset in the process.<\/p>\n As long as it doesn\u2019t hurt Keys, it\u2019s a logical program for him to connect to the audience through.<\/p>\n One last story beat for this one: Shinsuke Nakamura appeared backstage after Tama\u2019s match to needle him about still being an MFT. Talla appeared to threaten him, but Nak wasn\u2019t scared. He\u2019d already done his part to advance the split.<\/p>\n We hear Bob the Gatorade Guy can flat out go<\/p>\n This played out over a couple segments, but we\u2019re gonna talk about here where it\u2019s first segment aired. The Miz and Kit Wilson\u2019s attempt to intimidate Danhausen into forfeiting their match this weekend due to his inability to find a partner back fired. Not because he does have friends like Papa Shango, Curly Man, and Bob, the Gatorade guy. Wilson\u2019s point about the only person who would tag with him gives him an idea, and in lieu of disappearing, he hilariously \u201czooms\u201d away.<\/p>\n The idea Kit gave him was to clone himself. When the Very Nice One does so after getting appropriately Very Evil lighting, the contraption he\u2019s rigged seems to work at first, prompting Danhausen to dream of world domination\/ He says his clone will be ready in 24 hours, but then the machine seems to break. We\u2019re left unsure if someone\u2019s coming out of that box tomorrow, or is our hero will have to move on to Plan C-hausen.<\/p>\n Facile da trovare, difficile da battere<\/p>\n Along with some reminders Gunther came for Undisputed WWE champion Cody Rhodes last Friday, on this week\u2019s show we had a scene in Aldis\u2019 office that was supposed to see Gunther sign his apparently Paul Heyman-negotiated SmackDown contract. Cody Rhodes entered the arena on a monitor in the GM\u2019s office though, and Der Ring General doesn\u2019t do business that way.<\/p>\n Cut to he ring, where Rhodes\u2019 fiery \u201cWhat do you wanna talk about, Jacksonville?\u201d opening was cut off by Heyman. Cody cut him off to say he knew Gunther was backstage and that he was ready to throw down. Paul E. replied that he had bad news: the favor he owed Gunther was getting him a WWE title shot, but that match isn\u2019t until Clash in Italy on May 31.<\/p>\n Rhodes tries to play mind games with the Hall of Famer, bringing up how all his clients have left and\/or hate him. Heyman replies that everyone needs the Wiseman eventually. As ge wakjs away, Gunther charges in from the crowd \u2014 the shot of him charging the ring after jumping the barricade is great \u2014 for a brawl and a sleeper I thought would work until the WWE champ managed to grab a microphone he could use as a weapon and evcntually fight his way free.<\/p>\n Gunther decided to wait until he\u2019s on European soil, or at least until next week. Cody is Cody with a few cringe-y lines about not sweating Gunther regardless of his resume (take it from someone else who tries to sound hip even though I\u2019m too old and too whitebread to possible be hip, Code-ster. You\u2019re the only one who thinks it sounds cool. Your daughters sure won\u2019t. \u201cI\u2019m easy to find, but hard to beat\u201d is a good spin on \u201cif you want some, come get some\u201d, though. Overall, the these guys sold this well.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been rolling my eyes at the American Nightmare for a long time now, and heading into this show I was ready to tell you about how WWE\u2019s sapped Gunther\u2019s aura a bit by making him a part-timer\/special attraction. But this all worked for me.<\/p>\n Hating Fatal Attraction is Irresistible<\/p>\n After Danhausen almost pushes a ladder onto his fellow free agents<\/a> and WWE Women\u2019s Tag champ Brie Bella and Paige while they walked backstage \u2014 I\u2019ll assume he was getting DNA from the Clones<\/a> for the tag partner project we discussed above \u2014 the champs get in the ring to deliver a basic spiel that reminds us they beat the Irresistible Forces last week, and welcome a fight from The Judgment Day or any other team in the division.<\/p>\n Roxanne! Perez and Liv Morgan weren\u2019t here though, so Fatal Influence were first to interrupt Brie & Paige\u2019s segment. It doesn\u2019t take long for Jacy Jayne to get Duval County jeering her trio. They were here for their match, and suggest the Tag champs rolled out so they can show them how it\u2019s done. The Forces cut them off, with Lash Legend getting her fiance\u2019s chant when she told the recent call-ups to get in line. Her partner Nia Jax adeptly turned that into a diss on Jayne, Fallon Henley, and Lainey Reid right before they jump the champs and take them out relatively easily, but bail after a staredown with Rhea Ripley after she enters for the six-woman tag.<\/p>\n That match was rolling right along heading into its second segment when Jade Cargill pulled Ripley off the apron right as Bliss had countered Jayne\u2019s rolling elbow into the set-up for Sister Abigail. A heel who actually thinks on occasion, Jacy knew what to do. She used her Rolling Encore finisher during the confusion, Alexa wasn\u2019t ready for it this time, and Fatal Attraction\u2019s hot start continued.<\/p>\n Their fire was stolen a bit by the arrival of Cargill\u2019s lackeys Michin and B-Fab. Ripley fought them off alone, but turned into a big boot from the woman she took the WWE Women\u2019s title from at WrestleMania a couple weeks ago.<\/p>\n The crowd wasn\u2019t dead for Cargill and her new Baddies, but they weren\u2019t nearly as into booing them as they were Jayne and her followers. Take that as you will.<\/p>\n It\u2019s their funeral<\/a> – or – Did you say MOAR CELEBRITIES?!?!<\/p>\n The Gingerbread Man funeral scenes from backstage stretched throughout the show, and came along with video packages which reminded us how much TKO WWE loves generative AI. I only recapped the Sami\/Truth bit, because that was the last thing I really liked. Sure, some it was kinda funny. But overall the pushed the gag too far, for too long \u2014 and that\u2019s without even getting into the parts that make me sick to my stomach (and I ain\u2019t talking flashbacks to Zayn\u2019s dismemberment act from the previous show).<\/p>\n Guess I should mention, just in case he and Candice LeRae get to do something before they\u2019re released one of these days\u2026 in one of the backstage funeral scenes, Johnny Gargano seemed to come out of his stupor a bit when Zayn called him \u201cJohnny Wrestling\u201d. But in true Michigan J. Frog style, the Heart & Soul of NXT was gone again by the time Sami got his wife to come over.<\/p>\n Fast forward and our main event on this three-hour show was Men\u2019s United States champion Trick Williams and his in-ring funeral proceedings for his boy GBM. Like what led up to it, this had it\u2019s moments. The backing Gospel choir was a nice touch, for instance. But even that went on too long (and featured more lifeless, soulless AI images that make me want to take back the praise I gave WWE production earlier) before Zayn busted in during the moment of silence.<\/p>\n Sami spoke for his wrestling people \u2014 who aren\u2019t all on the internet, but a lot of us are. He was outraged that this got the final spot on SmackDown, which he says used to mean something. The two-time U.S. champ also said the GBM funeral was beneath the red, white, and blue belt. Complaining about the money Trick Willy\u2019s spent on all this Gingerbread Man nonsense also made sense, even if it maybe made a bunch of us internet folks think about recent budget cuts at TKO WWE. Whatever it stirred in the Florida crowd, that\u2019s where a \u201cWhoop That Trick\u201d chant started,<\/p>\n But then the challenger cut a pretty good babyface promo. When all was said and done, that seemed to be designed to make Williams pause, because that was when Zayn decked him with a cheap shot. Beating the champ down, Sami shoved the belt in Trick\u2019s face while screaming, \u201cYou think this is a game? This is my life!\u201d When he held the U.S. strap above his head thinking he was standing tall, we found out that Lil\u2019 Yachty was in the casket-bound costume. The rapper cackled like a madman while using his candy cane like a kendo stick on Zayn, and Sami sold for it, well, like Sami, which is to say in a perfectly convincing-if-slightly-over-the-top pro wrestling way.<\/p>\n The champ was up by then, and hit a Trick Shot on his first big main roster rival to really stand tall before their rematch [Danhausen voice] at Backlash.<\/p>\n It\u2019s just an odd way to end the show, and not just because tomorrow\u2019s a PLE.<\/p>\n How much of the May 8 SmackDown did I like, how much didn\u2019t I like, and how much was fine-to-good but didn\u2019t really move me? Probably something like 35% liked, 30% didn\u2019t, and 35% meh.<\/p>\n The episode probably did a better job of making me interested in the post-Backlash future than Saturday\u2019s event, but they kept me excited for a couple matches (Fatu\/Reigns and youknowwhohausen) without having the champ on hand to build to one of them. Gotta tip my hat to them on that.<\/p>\n But even when it comes to the future, I\u2019m concerned about guys I like such as Carmelo Hayes and Ilja Dragunov (as I told you, and given my job should come as little surprise: I\u2019m a somewhat typical \u201cinternet fan\u201d) getting even more lost in the shuffle as the show shifts back to two hours soon, and TKO seemingly thinking \u2014 perhaps correctly \u2014 they can get away with using celebrities as long as they don\u2019t use too many at once.<\/p>\n It all translates to the letter grade equivalent of a low meh.<\/p>\n Tell us what you think, which hopefully isn\u2019t \u201cthis man\u2019s an idiot!\u201d<\/p>\n What grade would you give Friday night’s SmackDown?<\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n You’ll have to use the comments of this post or the recap\/review<\/a> to give your own plus\/minuses, and we hope you’ll use them to tell us about your grade even if you don’t need those!<\/p>\n Closes in 3 days \u2022 61 total votesView results<\/p>\n ABCDFRec 0CommentsThin Stroke Comment Icon BubbleReplyRead 2 replies\n
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