If you spend any time on Facebook, you are probably familiar with the platform\u2019s \u201creels,\u201d shorts videos which appear periodically within your feed.\u00a0 Because Meta has been tracking my behavior, many if not most of the reels I see have something to do with music.\u00a0 Tips on how to spice up your gigs, suggestions for more productive band rehearsals, and that sort of thing.<\/p>\n
But as of late, I have started to see a few regular video contributors who concentrate on musician jokes.\u00a0 Here are some of my favorites, both old and new:<\/p>\n
What is the definition of perfect pitch?\u00a0 Landing a banjo in a dumpster from 20 feet away.<\/p>\n
What do you say to a drummer wearing a coat and tie?\u00a0 \u201cWill the defendant please rise.\u201d<\/p>\n
How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?\u00a0 Five. One to change the bulb and four to say that they could have done it better and faster.<\/p>\n
A little boy says to his mother, \u201cWhen I grow up, I want to be a musician!\u201d\u00a0 The mother smiles sadly and says, \u201cOh, Honey, you can\u2019t do both.\u201d<\/p>\n
What\u2019s the difference between a dead armadillo and a dead trombone player on the side of the road?\u00a0 The armadillo was on his way to a gig.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m here all week!<\/p>\n
Ticket Alert<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Tickets are on sale now for Chance the Rapper\u2019s concert on Saturday, September 12, at the 713 Music Hall<\/a>, a show which will celebrate the tenth anniversary of his 2016 mixtape Coloring Book.\u00a0 A VIP package is also available, one which includes a photo op with Chance himself, along with an autographed poster and that all important opportunity to buy merch before the great unwashed are allowed into the building.<\/p>\n So who would have thought a former CPA would turn into a renowned DJ, record producer and EDM maven?\u00a0 John Summit did.\u00a0 In 2019, Summit quit his \u201cstraight job\u201d with the aim of becoming a megastar.\u00a0 And it worked!\u00a0 Summit will bring his \u201cCtrl Escape\u201d tour to Toyota Center<\/a> on Thursday, November 5, with the proviso that \u201c18+ is recommended, but all ages are welcome.\u201d\u00a0 So what does that mean?\u00a0 Nekkidity? Foul language?\u00a0 Something worse?\u00a0 Yep, this guy is one hell of a marketer.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Blues guitarist Tommy Castro and his band the Painkillers released a killer album last year, a disc called Closer to the Bone.\u00a0 You can hear selections from that record, along with highlights from his extensive catalog, when Castro performs on Thursday, November 12, at the Heights Theater<\/a>.<\/p>\n Concerts This Week<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n In Todd Rundgren\u2019s mind, he can\u2019t win.\u00a0 He can play his hits (\u201cHello, It\u2019s Me,\u201d \u201cBang the Drum All Day\u201d) and please the more casual fans or he can play relative obscurities and deep cuts, satisfying his more rabid fans, i.e. the \u201cHot Toddies.\u201d\u00a0 Hence the name of his current tour, \u201cDamned If I Do,\u201d in which Rundgren will attempt to give both camps what they want during a single concert.\u00a0 This high wire act will take place tonight at the House of Blues<\/a>.\u00a0 For more on Rundgren and his set list dilemmas, check out Classic Rock Bob\u2019s Houston Press interview<\/a> with the \u201cwizard,\u201d the \u201ctrue star.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p>\n When he was a high school senior in El Paso, Khalid was elected Prom King and Most Likely to Go Platinum.\u00a0 On the latter score, his classmates underestimated him, as Khalid has achieved multiplatinum status with a string of successful albums, starting with his 2017 debut American Teen.\u00a0 And how can you not like an artist who had a hit with a song called \u201cYoung Dumb and Broke\u201d?\u00a0 Khalid performs on Thursday at the 713 Music Hall<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Kill switches are devices that stop a machine or a process when an emergency occurs.\u00a0 But the band Killswitch Engage didn\u2019t get its name from this definition.\u00a0 No, the metalcore dudes drew on the title of an \u201cX-Files\u201d episode written by cyberpunk author William Gibson.\u00a0 Hey, it\u2019s a better name than Overcast, Aftershock or Nothing Stays Gold, all outfits that band members played in prior to Killswitch Engage.\u00a0 Catch them on Saturday at the Bayou Music Center<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And speaking of names, for whatever reason, I have an aversion to artists \/ bands who insist on \u201cstylized\u201d versions of their handles, e.g. all caps, all lower case or maybe a symbol or number replacing a letter.\u00a0 Which brings us to A$AP Rocky, who will perform on Saturday at Toyota Center<\/a>.\u00a0 First coming to prominence as a member of the A$AP Mob, Rocky helped to popularize the genre of cloud rap (ambient backing tracks with a new age vibe and a ton of reverb) as a solo artist.\u00a0 OK, Rocky, I went with the dollar sign this time, but it may not always be like this.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n