\u201cI know what it means to play in an Olympic final; I know what it means to literally bleed, sweat and cry tears for this team,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Michaela Brake with her son Harvey, now 12 weeks old.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut the difference for me now is that I\u2019m a part-time rugby player and a full-time mum. Because at the end of the day, whatever the result, however my training goes, I need to go home and feed my boy, and he couldn\u2019t care less what I do right now. He just needs his mum.\u201d<\/p>\n
Harvey is now 12 weeks old, a smiling, giggly little boy. Brake and her husband, Olympic gold medallist rower Michael Brake<\/a>, are smitten with him.<\/p>\n But the rugby star renowned for her grit and resilience admits the transition to motherhood has been more difficult than she expected \u2013 at times smashing her like a tackle she didn\u2019t see coming.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t enjoy the first eight weeks of being a mum. I was in the pits,\u201d says Brake, the most prolific try-scorer in international women\u2019s sevens<\/a>.<\/p>\n For the first time in her life, her mental health was seriously challenged. After Harvey\u2019s birth by caesarean in late March, Brake cried a lot and was anxious every time she left the house with him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re feeding a baby who\u2019s not really giving you much back other than crying. You see people on social media saying it\u2019s such a joyful bubble, and you\u2019re loving this bundle of joy, but I was miserable,\u201d she admits.<\/p>\n \u201cI think people don\u2019t want to talk about the hard side of it, because they don\u2019t want to come across as ungrateful. But I\u2019m all for honesty.<\/p>\n \u201cThose first eight weeks were really, really hard. If I was able to get a workout, I was stoked. If I had my mum or mother-in-law here so I could go to the park and do a walk, that just made my day amazing. It\u2019s been a very humbling challenge \u2013 I wouldn\u2019t say it\u2019s easier now, but it\u2019s getting better.\u201d<\/p>\n Brake credits her mum, former Black Fern Cherry Blyde \u2013 a dairy farmer and Taranaki Rugby\u2019s first female president \u2013 for helping her through the dark days.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s absolutely no way I would be where I am mentally without her \u2013 she\u2019s stepped up for me so much,\u201d she says of the woman she calls Super Nana.<\/p>\n Brake has been struck by the number of athlete mums who\u2019ve gone through a similar experience.<\/p>\n \u201cAs someone who may come across as this invincible rugby player and has two Olympic gold medals, I\u2019m still very human and going through an experience that a lot of other mums do as well \u2013 the number who said, \u2018This is normal\u2019 blew my mind. All these emotions, thoughts and feelings are deemed normal, yet it punches you in the face.\u201d<\/p>\n Finding a new normal<\/p>\n At home in Tauranga, Brake is reclaiming some of her normality. Having re-signed with New Zealand Rugby through till the end of 2027, she\u2019s back training with some of her old Black Ferns teammates.<\/p>\n She and Shiray Kaka, mum to 9-month-old son Korihi, meet up each week at the Blake Park gym with expectant mums Dhys Faleafaga, Theresa Setefano and Tyler King, to train together.<\/p>\n She does most of her training at home, under a return-to-play programme from the Black Ferns Sevens medical staff. She calls on friends, like former teammate and mother of two Kelly Brazier<\/a>, to help with Harvey when she heads out for a run.<\/p>\n \u201cA lot of people assumed when I went to the Warriors last year and then got pregnant, it was my way of retiring. But no, I was always coming back. Although getting pregnant wasn\u2019t part of the plan, Harvey\u2019s a beautiful blessing,\u201d Brake says.<\/p>\n She\u2019s also returning to work this weekend, commentating for Sky on the Super Rugby Aupiki<\/a> match between Chiefs Manawa and the Blues \u2013 a challenge she\u2019s \u201cvery, very excited about\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cI need something for myself. When I was pregnant, I still trained with the girls here and there, but I didn\u2019t do a lot of things for myself because I was either sick or too tired,\u201d she says. \u201cSo I\u2019m really excited to take my brain away from being a mum for a few hours and focus on being a commentator for Sky Sport.\u201d<\/p>\n Her first game will be on Saturday at FMG Stadium Waikato, where the Blues \u2013 first-round winners over the Hurricanes Poua, 42-7 \u2013 meet home side Chiefs Manawa, who lost 52-26 to Matat\u016b first up. Brake is predicting a close match.<\/p>\n \u201cThe Blues are just a different type of pedigree at the moment \u2013 they\u2019re looking incredible, which is what happens when the majority of your team are Black Ferns,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cI think the Chiefs Manawa just made very simple mistakes last weekend that are easily fixable, and they\u2019re playing at home. I reckon this game will be much different for both sides.<\/p>\n \u201cObviously, I\u2019m a Chiefs girl at heart, but when it comes to Super Rugby Aupiki, I just want to see the teams have fun and develop their game, and I want more people to go and watch it.\u201d<\/p>\n She warns she could be rusty, having last done a commentary over a year ago. \u201cLuckily, I\u2019ve got Rikki [Swannell] as my play-by-play commentator and I\u2019ll just bounce off her, and Les [Elder], who I really look up to. She\u2019s a very proud ex-rugby player and a huge advocate for the women\u2019s game.\u201d<\/p>\n Harvey won\u2019t be far away \u2013 his dad will be walking him around the stadium while his mum is in the commentary box. \u201cAt the full-time whistle, I\u2019ll be mic off, headphones down, and out of there. If he\u2019s hungry mid-game, I can\u2019t stop, so it will be a good test of our organisation,\u201d she laughs.<\/p>\n Brake will also feature in panel discussions during Sky\u2019s coverage of National Rugby League Women\u2019s (NRLW) games starting on July 2.<\/p>\n Last season, she played four games for the Warriors Women in her league debut<\/a>, before her contract was cut short by her pregnancy.<\/p>\n \u201cBeing part of the environment last year, my heart stays with the Warriors, and I\u2019m super pumped to watch them play,\u201d she says. \u201cThey have an elite team this season with some serious recruitment. I reckon they will go very well.\u201d<\/p>\n That recruitment includes her former Black Ferns Sevens teammates Gayle Broughton<\/a> and Stacey Waaka<\/a>.<\/p>\n A supportive new era for mum athletes<\/p>\n The Black Ferns Sevens squad return to pre-season at Mount Maunganui on August 10 \u2013 giving Brake two more months to get herself back to doing a bronco aerobic fitness test again.<\/p>\n \u201cI feel good physically, but after having a C-section, I need to remember I just had a very serious surgery and be patient with myself. I feel myself getting 5% stronger each week \u2013 it\u2019s a great feeling knowing I\u2019ve gone from struggling to walk up my driveway to now bench-pressing 40 kilos, so I\u2019m really stoked with myself,\u201d Brake says.<\/p>\n \u201cI know what my best is like, and I\u2019m obviously nowhere near that right now. But I know what I\u2019m chasing. When I\u2019m on the field, it will be about playing the best rugby I can and making my family \u2013 and myself \u2013 proud, because I proved I can do this.\u201d<\/p>\n Under New Zealand Rugby\u2019s parental policy, players can take their babies and a support person on tour until the child turns 1.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s special we\u2019re now in a space where women rugby players \u2013 and most women athletes \u2013 are being looked after by their sporting organisations,\u201d Brake says. \u201cSo Harvey will potentially be able to go to Dubai, Cape Town, Perth, Singapore and Vancouver before he turns 1. He\u2019s going to be a well-travelled baby.<\/p>\n \u201cAt the Los Angeles Olympics<\/a>, I\u2019ll be 32 and he\u2019ll be 2 and a bit, so he will have some sort of idea of his mum playing professional rugby.\u201d<\/p>\nMichaela Brake in action for the Black Ferns Sevens. Photo \/ Photosport<\/p>\n
Olympic gold medallists Michael and Michaela Brake with son Harvey and dog Honey.<\/p>\n
Michaela Brake makes a run in Warriors colours. Photo \/ Photosport<\/p>\n