{"id":991053,"date":"2026-08-09T13:06:14","date_gmt":"2026-08-09T13:06:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/991053\/"},"modified":"2026-08-09T13:06:14","modified_gmt":"2026-08-09T13:06:14","slug":"letting-people-see-all-of-you-can-be-scary-but-she-stopped-hiding-years-ago-san-diego-union-tribune","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/991053\/","title":{"rendered":"Letting people see all of you can be scary, but she stopped hiding years ago \u2013 San Diego Union-Tribune"},"content":{"rendered":"

Rebecca Chamaa<\/a> has spent years talking about living with her mental health diagnosis \u2014 sharing her story with law enforcement agencies to medical professionals to her work as a public speaker for the National Alliance on Mental Illness. So, when she saw a notice from a local arts organization requesting writers to participate in a companion event for an art exhibition, she had to do it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI looked at the images they had from the artists in the exhibit, and we were supposed to respond to one of those; it\u2019s called ekphrastic writing (studying an artist and their work, and writing from a prompt about a particular piece),\u201d she says. \u201cI looked at them for several days, and I liked Jeff Bergman\u2019s piece, \u2018Sutured.\u2019 That was the piece that I decided to write to, and I wrote about having schizophrenia. Because the title of the event is \u2018Come as You Are: Stories from \u201cSeen & Whole,\u201d\u2018<\/a> I felt like my experiences are going to fit with that theme quite well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before her diagnosis of chronic paranoid schizophrenia, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychotic features in her 20s, she writes in \u201cI Hid My Schizophrenia for 20 Years. Here\u2019s Why I Stopped,\u201d a personal essay she wrote for HuffPost in 2023<\/a>. Back then, when she disclosed her diagnosis, the people in her life disappeared, leaving her feeling rejected and unsupported. She had also internalized the stigma and negative social messaging around her diagnosis. It\u2019s taken work to learn about her symptoms, treatment, and ideas around identity and self-worth. Fortunately, she\u2019s had a supportive and loving partner in her husband, Jean-Claude, and her own commitment to her writing, speaking, artwork, and role as a facilitator to help people understand that a mental health diagnosis is not the entirety of a person. She plans to share that story in the \u201cCome As You Are\u201d storytelling event from 7 to 9 p.m. Friday at the Congregational Church of La Jolla, presented by Living Proof Stories and San Diego Art Directory. Inspired by the \u201cSeen & Whole\u201d exhibition<\/a> on display at the church through August, this event features original works of poetry, fiction, and nonfiction performed as live readings by local writers (space is limited and registration is recommended).Chamaa lives in Banker\u2019s Hill with her husband, is a certified Medi-Cal peer support specialist, serves on the Lived Experience Advisory Council for UC Davis\u2019s Early Psychosis Intervention California (EPI-CAL) program, and works for NAMI San Diego. She took some time to talk about her piece in \u201cCome As You Are\u201d and what it means to her to be seen today. (This interview has been edited for length and clarity.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> As one of the featured performers in \u201cCome As You Are,\u201d you were inspired by a work of art titled, \u201cSutured,\u201d by Jess Bergman. Can you talk about that piece and what came to mind for you when you saw it? What were you thinking and feeling, and how did that lead to the writing that you did?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0<\/strong>It\u2019s pretty dramatic. It\u2019s got a white square and then a black square, and then it has a piece of metal sticking out through the black square. Then, there are these, like, stitches. Well, I call them stitches because that\u2019s how I wrote about it, but it\u2019s more like barbed wire, I think. I haven\u2019t seen the piece in person, so I don\u2019t know, but I think he used barbed wire to wrap around the outside of the lines of the piece. It\u2019s abstract, it leaves a lot to the imagination. It\u2019s a very good piece to write to, and I like the piece, too. I genuinely like it and would hang it in my house.<\/p>\n

I mostly I talk about the sutures, and I write about the stitches, and I write about that metal piece that\u2019s sticking out. It just reminded me of people and their stories. I deal with stories all the time, so it reminded me of people and their stories, their healing stories and the wounds that they carry. So, that\u2019s what I wrote about, I wrote about the wounds that I carry and then how look at other people because of that.<\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0<\/strong>When were you diagnosed with chronic paranoid schizophrenia?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0<\/strong>I was diagnosed with severe mental illness in my 20s. It was a long journey; a diagnosis is a very long journey, and I didn\u2019t get my accurate diagnosis until I was 40 years old. I\u2019ve had it for 20 years now and everything about it \u2014 the medication, the treatment \u2014 all of that is right for me, but I lived for a long time with the diagnosis of bipolar disorder with psychotic features because a lot of mental illness has a lot of overlap with other things. It\u2019s not the easiest thing to decide, initially, what someone\u2019s diagnosis is because there\u2019s so much overlap.<\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0<\/strong>What does this diagnosis mean?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0<\/strong>For me, I want to be clear that it doesn\u2019t mean this for everyone, but for me it means that I have certain kinds of hallucinations. I\u2019ve had episodes of psychosis where I\u2019m completely out of touch with reality, and then hearing voices when I\u2019m psychotic. I hear voices, and other times when I\u2019m not psychotic, the most common symptoms I have on a daily basis are olfactory hallucinations, which are smells. I don\u2019t know if you know this, but you can hallucinate through all five of your senses, so you can see things, you can hear things, you can smell things, you can taste things. The two most common hallucinations I have on a daily basis, when I am not psychotic, are smell and taste. The taste one is called gustatory hallucination and the smell one is olfactory, and those are the two most common. Then, I have symptoms of paranoia. Those are the most common things that impact me day-to-day, and psychosis is life-changing when that happens. Generally speaking, smoke is the most common olfactory hallucination for me, so if someone\u2019s home, I can ask, \u201cDo you smell smoke?\u201d If my husband is home, he\u2019ll say no, but if no one is home, I go down the hallway and check, I go outside of my condo and check because it\u2019s a scary thing and it can be so frustrating because you really do smell it.<\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0<\/strong>What was your perspective of schizophrenia before your diagnosis? How did that change after your diagnosis?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0<\/strong>That\u2019s exactly what my piece is kind of about. I talk about what getting that diagnosis was like. At first it was like getting a punch in the gut. Bipolar disorder doesn\u2019t have as much stigma; it has stigma, but not as much as schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is one of the most stigmatized mental illnesses there is, and I had all of the stereotypes in my mind. It really crushed my self-esteem, and it really crushed my image of myself as a capable and productive and person. It just really scared me, and it took a long time for my husband and I to work through it. When I came home from that appointment and said I have chronic paranoid schizophrenia, I was devastated. and he said, \u201cYou\u2019re no different today than you were yesterday.\u201d Now, the difference is, if my life was a pizza, schizophrenia would be one of the smallest pieces. I do have to manage it, I\u2019m constantly managing it, and I take my treatment very, very, very, very seriously, but I have a big life besides that, too.<\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0<\/strong>In your personal essay for HuffPost, you talk about keeping your mental health condition a secret from friends, family, and coworkers, and the rejection and shame you\u2019ve experienced when you have shared your diagnosis. What do you find that people tend to misunderstand about schizophrenia? And, what do you hope they learn about it?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0<\/strong>I have a 28-piece exhibit right now at the Hervey Library in Point Loma. It\u2019s 28 abstract faces of the 28 most common symptoms of schizophrenia, and it\u2019s called \u201cSymptoms of Schizophrenia.\u201d It\u2019s just an educational piece, in my opinion. I wrote down the 28 most common symptoms of schizophrenia, and then I did an abstract portrait of each one. Education is primary for me, but the thing that I\u2019m really trying to do right now is change the narrative. I\u2019ve spent years as an advocate for schizophrenia, and I\u2019ve spent years describing my symptoms. I would tell people like the FBI, the negotiators, the police about how to deal with people in psychosis, but I was also talking to people who had schizophrenia in crisis houses and stuff like that. I would always say to them, \u201cYou are so much more than your diagnosis.\u201d So many times, because of the symptoms of my diagnosis, I felt like I became my diagnosis. Like schizophrenia was how I defined myself. It had overtaken my whole life, even though I always told people you\u2019re more than schizophrenia. So, I\u2019m really in a transition phase right now. I have a fellowship coming up with the Center for Faith and Justice, and when I was writing the application for the fellowship, I wrote that I really wanted to look at the intersection between severe mental illness, faith, and justice; that\u2019s the transition I\u2019m going through now. I\u2019m really going into a broader story. I want to tell a story of schizophrenia that\u2019s bigger than just the symptoms. For instance, if someone is diagnosed with schizophrenia, I want them to have mentors who are vocal in the community. Like, I\u2019ve been married for almost three decades, and when I would go to crisis houses and stuff like that, they would say that that was the most hopeful thing I said to them. That was the thing they would be taking with them because we all want to be loved, we all want to be accepted, we all want to belong. So, for me to say I\u2019ve been happily married for almost three decades was like, \u2018Oh my gosh, that could happen to me, too. I could have that, too.\u2019<\/p>\n

I think people think that schizophrenia is debilitating to everyone. It is debilitating to some people; I know people with schizophrenia who do not live an average life because the illness is so severe, but it\u2019s not debilitating for everyone. With proper treatment, and I always say this because I take my treatment very seriously, you can live a very meaningful and purposeful life. They think that everyone with schizophrenia is constantly hearing voices, there\u2019s a symptom of schizophrenia where you don\u2019t make sense when you talk, a deficit of speech, and they think we\u2019re dangerous. The reality is that most people with schizophrenia are not dangerous, nor will they ever be dangerous.<\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0<\/strong>In addition to all of your other work in mental health, you also earned a certificate from Columbia University in narrative medicine. What is narrative medicine?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0<\/strong>Narrative medicine is something that is in healthcare settings. Rita Charon (executive director of Columbia University\u2019s program in narrative medicine<\/a> and \u201cwidely recognized as the originator of the field,\u201d according to the Association of American Medical Colleges<\/a>) wrote a book on it, and she was often a speaker in my classes, and she said that artwork could really change the practice of medicine. It\u2019s about paying attention, it\u2019s about seeing a poem or a piece of artwork and paying attention to what you see. Really focused attention, and then writing about it expressively for a given amount of time. In school, we only did seven to 10 minutes a lot of times, but I often give my students much more time to write. It\u2019s about paying attention to the story. There are three pillars of narrative medicine: attention, affiliation, and representation. It\u2019s teaching you to look at things in a different way, and it\u2019s used to help people in their practice with patients, but it\u2019s also used to help doctors or nurses avoid burnout and stuff like that. It helps them pay closer attention to the story of their patients and what their patients are saying, and just be better doctors, in general.<\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0<\/strong>What are some ways you\u2019ve been able to use narrative medicine in your own life?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0<\/strong>I have a narrative medicine group that I run, and I\u2019ve been running it for four years. There are six or seven of us and we meet every Monday night on Zoom. The benefits of art and and the benefits of writing are very conducive to supporting well-being, the group is just lovely. We\u2019ve supported each other through a death of a husband, death of pets, a suicide by a boyfriend; we just read poems and look at artwork and write about whatever is going through us, and then we share it together. The narrative medicine groups that I do are not exactly how Columbia teaches us; I\u2019m not dealing with medical professionals, I\u2019m bringing it to the community instead. Each of us is a witness to each other on those Monday nights. We\u2019re witnessing the pain, we\u2019re witnessing the joy, we\u2019re expressing it. It\u2019s being seen by other people and having space held for you to express any emotion you want to express.<\/p>\n

Q: <\/strong>\u201cCome As You Are\u201d is described as \u201ccreat(ing) a conversation about identity, belonging, resilience, and what it means to be truly seen.\u201d As you\u2019ve gone through your process of living with schizophrenia and doing advocacy work around mental health, what does it mean to you to be truly seen? Particularly as Rebecca today, versus Rebecca in her 20s?<\/p>\n

A:<\/strong> What it really means for me to be truly seen is that people might know that I have schizophrenia, but when they think of Rebecca, they say, \u201cOh yeah, Rebecca\u2019s a writer. Oh yeah, Rebecca\u2019s married to Jean-Claude. Oh yeah, Rebecca works at NAMI,\u201d and there are 10 to 15 things that come up before, \u201cOh, and she happens to have schizophrenia.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Rebecca Chamaa has spent years talking about living with her mental health diagnosis \u2014 sharing her story with…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":991054,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[5134],"tags":[5229,1582,276,1073,1370,728,50,3546,3549,7264,7289,67,586,132,5230,68,2969],"class_list":["post-991053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-san-diego","tag-america","tag-ca","tag-california","tag-columns","tag-latest-headlines","tag-local-news","tag-news","tag-people","tag-san-diego","tag-sandiego","tag-top-stories-sdut","tag-united-states","tag-united-states-of-america","tag-unitedstates","tag-unitedstatesofamerica","tag-us","tag-usa"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/117065704277821277","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991053","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=991053"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991053\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/991054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=991053"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=991053"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=991053"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}