There were definitely some pluses to this kind of event – at least you don’t waste a whole evening on a date with zero connection. You’re able to figure that out in minutes, make your excuses and head to the bar to chat to someone else.
But the evening left me wondering whether we’ve lost the art of comfortably and casually approaching people without it feeling a bit awkward and staged. If we are a little rusty in these early stages of interaction, I think it’s because we are so used to the instant gratification of swiping on our phones that we’ve forgotten the simple art of flirting.
“The apps have created an environment where we can hide behind our phones and avoid the vulnerability of face to face contact,” says Rhian Kivits, a sex and relationship therapist and Relate-qualified counsellor.
“When we get used to technology doing the heavy lifting, in-person communication can feel strained and unnatural and an over-reliance on our phones is eroding our capacity to make meaningful connections.”
Another thing that’s become apparent is the way that women are embracing this way of meeting, while some men still seem to favour the instant gratification of the app approach (casual, no-strings-attached sex, without the effort of romancing and wining and dining women). Women’s tickets are usually sold out, forcing dating companies to actively seek out men to attend. There were definitely more blokes aimlessly circulating on their own or standing awkwardly, like lost puppies, in the corner, while women seemed happy to embrace it and laugh about it afterwards.
But the fact is, I like to think many of us – men and women – are longing for the golden days of meeting people through friends, down at the pub, or even at work. Change is due. These perfectly normal means of romantic interaction shouldn’t be the stuff of fantasies.
And after several slightly awkward encounters, I considered the night a success.
I had a bit of a flirt and walked away with a nice guy’s number. Was it hard work? Yes. Were there some toe-curling moments? Absolutely. But would I substitute the buzz of real-life connection for swiping through endless photos of men with fish and a love of travel? In a heartbeat.